


Vita

by Silvaimagery



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Friendship, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Repression, Romance, raiding’s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:52:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1555808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Charles was like Athelstan yet not that it made him feel things he had learned to<br/>ignore long ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am dreading yet looking forward to the final episode of Vikings Season 2. Hopefully they won’t make us wait long for Season 3. 
> 
> Vita-Life

“My brother Charles will be coming in a few days.”

I look at him.

“He has lived in a small village outside of my kingdom walls, he is a ….devout man of god. He prefers to live with the monks. He does not see eye to eye with our Bishop, he never has.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want you to keep him company while he is here. He and I are not always in agreement with the way things should be done and it is best if we don’t spend too much time together. He does not agree with many of my policies as he prefers to wait for divine guidance. That is why he will never be king.” He smiles. 

I nod.

“As you wish.”

“Good. Oh, don’t tell him you have a fondness for pagan things. Or that you lived among the pagans. I would not want him to be at war with you too.”

**********************

I stand on the platform as the trumpets blare.

A group of soldiers enter the city first, followed by a man on horseback.

Even on top of his horse he looks tall, taller than Aethelwulf even.

And he is not dresses as a monk.

I frown.

“He is not really a holy man.” Aethelwulf whispers to me.

I look at him.

“Father indulges him and lets him live with the monks but he will never let my uncle become a true man of god.”

“Why?”

He shrugs.

I watch as Prince Charles dismounts.

Ecbert moves to embrace him, Bishop Edmund right behind him.

I smile as Charles looks at Bishop Edmund before pushing him aside.

Aethelwulf moves towards his uncle and I follow him.

“Look how you have grown. Your father tells me you are married now.”

“It is true. This is my wife Judith.”

“My lord.” Judith says with a curtsy.

Charles cups her face before kissing her cheek.

“She is very beautiful. Care for her and love her well.” He tells his nephew.

“I will.”

Charles clasps Aethelwulf on the shoulder before his eyes move my way.

I am surprised to see that his soft brown hair is even longer in length than mine and his face is not clean shaven as I had expected.

He lifts an eyebrow.

“I see you have brought a priest to replace your Bishop.” He says looking at Ecbert.

Ecbert laughs while Bishop Edmund splutters in anger.

“No, he is just a member of my court.” Ecbert tells him.

“I am Charles.” He says extending his hand.

I take it in mine.

“Athelstan.”

“It is so strange to see a priest with a beard.”

“I think he looks rather fetching. Don’t you?” Ecbert tells him.

Charles nods.

“Jesus Christ wore a beard, I don’t see why a priest can’t either.”

I nod at him.

Bishop Edmund rolls his eyes.

Charles turns and walks away with Ecbert.

I follow a little ways behind.

I glance at Bishop Edmund.

His face is red and he looks really upset.

I hold back my smile.

Ecbert has a feast prepared to welcome his brother and at the dinner table, Bishop Edmund stands to give the blessing but Charles interrupts him before he can even open his mouth.

“Priest.” He says looking at me. “Perhaps you should give the blessing.”

I stand cautiously.

Ecbert nods at me.

Bishop Edmund stares at him, his mouth open in shock.

Ecbert motions Edmund to sit down.

Charles’s smirk is obvious.

I clear my throat.

“Thank you Lord for this bounty which you have blessed us with and bless the hands that have prepared this food. Amen.”

“Amen.” They chorus.

Charles glances at Bishop Edmund before turning to speak with his brother.

Aethelwulf smiles at me.

King Ecbert waves me over.

I stand and go to his side.

“My Lord.”

“I was just telling my brother that you lived in Lindisfarne.”

“Sit down Father and talk with us.” Charles says.

A chair is brought and placed between Ecbert and his brother.

I sit down cautiously.

The servants bring me my plate of food and my cup.

“So you are from Northumbria?” Charles asks.

“Yes.”

“And why did you leave your monastery?”

I look into his dark eyes.

I open my mouth.

“He has been very valuable to me and has brought a new kind of insight to my court.” Ecbert says.

Charles looks at his brother and I feel like I am able to breathe again now that his hawk like gaze is no longer pinning me under its weight.

I take my cup and take a sip of the sweet wine.

“Is that so? Well, I am glad. I know how much you have been lacking religious guidance in your court.” Charles says glancing at Edmund.

“I will not sit here and listen to this man talk ill about me. I am a Bishop in our Holy Church.” Edmund says standing.

“Yes, the Church is Holy. You however…” Charles shakes his head.

“You are not one to judge me for my actions Slayer.”

Charles stands, his fists pounding against the table.

I look at Ecbert.

“Alright, that is enough.” Ecbert says standing. “Let us enjoy the rest of the meal in peace.”

Bishop Edmund sits down and Charles follows suit.

I look between Ecbert and Charles.

“Forgive me Father, I should not have allowed my temper to rule over me.” Charles tells me.

“It’s alright.”

“It is not. I will ask for God’s forgiveness.” He stands, his chair scraping against the floor.

“Charles.” Ecbert says standing.

“Excuse me.” Charles says leaving the room.

Ecbert sighs before sitting back down.

I look at my plate.

“Now you see why I need you as an intermediary.”


	2. Chapter 2

I hear the door open but I pay it no mind.

Ecbert often visits during the day.

I continue to translate the text.

“So this is why my brother values you.”

I stand, my quill smearing the parchment.

I look at Charles, my heart beating rapidly.

“How did you find me?” I ask.

“I’ve been watching you.” He smiles. “I thought it was strange that he keeps you here and yet did not assign you any duties in the church or at his council even when he’s trying to convince me otherwise. I am not stupid Athelstan.”

“No.”

“Are you really a priest?”

I look down at the gold crucifix hanging from my neck before looking back at him.

He comes closer.

“I thought so. I know all about what happened at Lindisfarne. I heard that the pagans invaded and took monks they had captured back to their homelands. I also heard of the raids the pagans made on my brothers lands. Is that when you were captured?”

“Yes.”

“You lived with the pagans. That is why your hair is long and your face is not clean shaven. Edmund would have forced you to be presentable otherwise. I assume my brother convinced him otherwise.”

“Yes.”

“They brought you back. Why?”

I look away and say nothing.

“I see.”

He walks towards me.

“Did Bishop Edmund try to crucify you?”

I cover my hands and stare at him.

“Hmm.” He walks closer. “I know about your pagans and their ways Athelstan, you do not have to hide it from me.”

“But King Ecbert told me not to tell you about the pagans.” I frown.

He snorts.

“My brother likes to pretend to be ignorant about some things.”

“Like what?”

“I was once not so different from your pagans.” He says picking up a piece of parchment I had set aside for the ink to dry.

“What do you mean?”

He sets it back down before looking at me.

“I am known now as Charles but before that I was known as the Slayer. Our father was a raider, he was blood thirsty and would not stop until all fell under his rule.”

“Yes. I heard about King George.”

“As soon as I was able to hold a sword, I was trained. I learned to fight, to take and defend what was mine. I became blind to everything else except for my thirst of blood, of conquest. It was not until I was hurt in battle and taken in by monks that I awoke from the sickness that ate away at me. I found that I was better when I was among god’s men than when I was here.”

“That is why he lets you live among the monks.”

“Yes.”

“Why won’t he make you a priest or let you take the vows of a man of god?”

“Because he does not know when he will need me to fight. After all, what good am I as a warrior if I as a man of god I am unwilling to kill?”

“That is awful.”

“It is the way things are.”

“But King Ecbert cannot stop you from taking the vows if you really want to.”

“Why do you stay?”

“What?”

“You wear those garments but you no longer love your heavenly father the way you used to. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I-”

“You want to believe again but you can’t because you are no longer blind to the world. You have seen and lived many things. You are no longer a monk Athelstan, you are not a priest. You are just a man who has lost his way.”

I stare at him.

“I am lost too. I believe when I am there, I believe all my prayers will be answered and I will be able to redeem myself for all I have done. But when I cannot see the monastery, doubt takes over my heart. In this moment here, I do not know that god is real. I do not know that he will save me or that he cares to.”

I open my mouth but no sound comes out.

“You are not a Christian and yet you are not a pagan. You must come to peace with that Athelstan. Just like I must find a way to make peace with my demons.”

I take a gasping breath.

“You are right.” I tell him.

“It is time to open your eyes.”

“To what?”

“Why do you think my brother made an arrangement with King Aelle?”

“To have forces against Princess Kwenthrith should she decide to come after us?”

“The kingdom of Mercia is larger than our own and a war between us would be devastating to our kingdom. But no.”

“Then why?”

“Come now Athelstan. What is the thing you wish for most with all your heart?”

I stare at him.

He cocks an eyebrow.

“Do you want me to say it?”

I close my mouth and swallow.

“Ecbert is rallying forces against your pagans.”

“He doesn’t know that they will return.”

He snorts.

“Don’t pretend Athelstan. You know very well that they will come.”

My heart speeds up in my chest.

“I have wished for it many times but time passes without any sign of them that I have begun to lose hope.” I say quietly.

He reclines against my work table.

I narrow my eyes at him.

“Is that why your brother sent for you?”

He smiles.

“Now you are getting it.”

I lick my lips before speaking again.

“And will you fight against the men you have so much in common with?”

“I said I was not so different, not that I was one of them.” He says standing straight.

“Will you fight them?”

“I am a warrior Athelstan.”

He turns to leave but stops at the door.

“I just haven’t decided which side is worth fighting on.”

He walks out.

I sit back down and take a deep breath.

If I could convince Charles to fight with Ragnar, I knew the Northmen would have a better chance of winning. Charles would be seen as a traitor but Ragnar would let him come back to Kattegat with us.

I had to try.


	3. Chapter 3

“I see that you and my brother have gotten along very well.”

I stand as Ecbert enters the room.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He walks around the room.

I stare at him.

He turns to look at me.

He wags his finger.

“It is not that you two seem to have so much in common that bothers me but the way you two are always together.”

I clear my throat.

“I did not notice that Prince Charles and I were spending so much time together.”

“But you are.”

I look at him but say nothing.

He comes closer.

“What do you two talk about hmm?”

“I don’t know. Mostly about his time in the monastery. I’ve tried to get him to tell me about kingdom politics but he refuses.”

He chuckles but his eyes are serious.

“You’re lying.”

“I have no reason to lie to you.”

He in leans in close and I resist the urge to lean back.

“It is not good for you to lie to me. Tell me truth now and I will be lenient with you.”

I swallow.

“I am not lying to you.”

He stares at me for a moment before moving away.

I take a deep breath.

“I will find out Athelstan.”

“There is nothing to find out my Lord.”

“There better not be.”

******************

I look around us and Charles frowns at me.

“What is the matter?”

“Your brother came to see me today. He was upset.”

“Not surprising. My brother is a jealous man, can’t say I am not the same way myself.”

“There was something important I wanted to talk to you about but I don’t think I can now.”

He looks down at me.

“What about?”

I look at him.

“Ah. I believe I can make a guess from that look in your eyes.” He says crossing his hands in front of his body.

“If you would listen to what I have to say.”

“I am not saying that I won’t.”

“I think King Ecbert has sent men to follow us.” I say nodding towards a man I had seen pass us by three times already.

“They have been following us for days. Did your pagans not teach you anything?”

I smile.

“Priest.”

I look at Aethelwulf.

“My father requires your presence.”

I nod at him.

“I suppose we have to cut our daily walk short.”

“No need. I will come with you.” Charles tells me.

“Alright.”

Aethelwulf leads us to the Kings sitting room.

“Charles.” Ecbert says standing. “I did not expect to see you here.”

I shift uncomfortably.

Charles shrugs.

“I was just keeping Athelstan company, you did cut our walk short.”

“There is something important I need to speak to Athelstan about. I am sure you will understand.”

“There is something I wish to speak to you about as well.” Charles tells him.

I look between them.

Ecbert walks towards us.

“What is it?”

“Surely you knew I would notice the men you have following me around.”

“It was merely for your security.”

“I have been here before and you have had no need to guard me from any dangers.”

King Ecbert shrugs.

“I’ve also noticed that they only appear when I am with Athelstan.” Charles says crossing his arms across his chest.

“And?”

“Is there a reason? Or do you fear for the well-being of Athelstan in your kingdom as well?”

Ecbert’s nostrils flare.

“My subjects have no need to fear for their lives here.” Ecbert tells him.

“And what of your brother? Should I fear for my life?”

They stare at each other for a moment.

“Of course not.” Ecbert finally says.

“Good. Then there is no need to have men guarding us when we take our walks. After all, I would not allow any harm to come to Athelstan. He is indeed a person to be treasured.” Charles says putting his arm around my shoulders.

Ecbert moves closer and taking my arm, he brings me closer to his side.

“If that was all, I would like to speak with Athelstan now.”

“Very well.” Charles looks at me. “I will wait for you so that we may finish our walk.”

“We may be a while.” Ecbert tells him.

“It is alright. I can wait.” Charles says before walking out.

Ecbert clenches his jaw before releasing me and walking back to his chair.

“What did you need to speak to me about?”

“Do you like my brother?”

“Yes. He is a very nice man.”

He snorts.

“Right.”

“My Lord?”

He looks at me.

“If my brother asked you to go back with him to the monastery, would you go?”

“No.”

“And if your pagans were to return, would you go with them?”

I look away.

“This is you home now Athelstan.”

I look at him.

“I offer you more than Ragnar Lothbrok ever could, more than Charles ever could.”

“I understand.”

“Good.”

“Is that all?”

“I do not like you spending so much time with my brother.”

“But you told me to keep him company.”

“I know what I said.” He sighs. “Perhaps if you would not looks so delighted to be in his presence.”

“I will try.”

“You can go.”

I bow and leave the room.

Charles looks at me.

“Would you really not leave with your pagans?”

“You should not listen in on the Kings private audience. What if you had gotten caught?”

“Answer the question.”

“I can’t.”

“Because you know you would leave this place in a heartbeat if your pagans came ashore this instant.”

“Yes.” I admit.

He nods.

“Prince-”

“Call me Charles. We are equals after all.”

“Charles. Will you listen to what I have to say?”

“I will. But first, tell me more about this Kattegat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just had to have a pissing contest between Charles and Ecbert. I mean, come on. There was a reason why Ecbert resisted sending Athelstan to speak with Ragnar.


	4. Chapter 4

“I cannot train you, not with my brother watching our every move.”

“I understand.”

“I suppose you will have to survive a little more with what little your Ragnar taught you.”

I smile.

“He is not my Ragnar and he taught me well. I did save his life.”

“It does not seem to be so far from the truth from the way you speak about him.” His eyes bore into me.

“He is a friend, a very dear friend.”

“In any case, my brother becomes less and less pleased by my presence here. He will soon let jealousy blind him and I do not doubt that he will send me back to the monastery.”

“I know he is upset that we spend so much time together but I do not understand why he is jealous.”

He snorts.

“You really are pure aren’t you?”

“No. I am not pure, I have killed men before.”

“I am not talking about that kind of pure Athelstan. I was talking about sexual experience.”

I can feel my face become hot and I swallow.

He smiles.

“I do not see what that has to do with anything.”

“My brother wants you. Why do you think he kept you?”

“For information of Ragnar?”

“Maybe in the beginning. But now he has given you a high place in his kingdom, he values you greatly and everyone can see that.”

“I do not know why he would think I would ever offer him any sexual favors for saving my life. I did not ask him to give me any sort of power or favoritism.”

“He does not want any sexual favors from you, he want you to offer yourself freely and willingly.”

“Well I am not, I will not. I took vows of celibacy-”

“You are no longer a monk.” He says raising an eyebrow.

“It does not matter.”

“So if Ragnar asked you to have sex with him, you would reject him?”

“He already did and I did reject him.”

He moves closer to me and my heart speeds up.

“And if I were to ask you?”

I take a shaky breath.

“You are a man of god.”

“I would forsake god and everything else on this earth if you asked me to.” He says.

“But I am not going to do that.”

“You still have not answered my question.”

His hand touches my hair before caressing down my neck.

I stare at him.

I watch as his lips come closer to mine and I close my eyes.

The knock on my door makes me jump.

I walk around Charles.

He turns to look at me.

I take a moment to compose myself before opening the door to my home.

“Catherin.” 

She smiles and holds out a bundle wrapped in cloth.

“I made some bread and thought to bring you over a loaf.”

“Thank you, that is very kind of you.”

She nods.

“I have not seen you around much lately.”

“King Ecbert keeps me busy.” I smile.

“I can imagine. Well, I will leave you to your rest.”

“Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiles again before turning away.

I close the door.

I set the loaf of bread on the table and stare down at it.

I hear Charles move closer.

I look at him.

“If you say no to my advances, it will not deter me from swaying my brother into offering your pagans land and money instead of declaring war.”

“This is not the first time I have been tempted into breaking my vows. But it is the first time I really wanted to.” I admit.

He caresses the side of my face.

He bends his head and nothing stops his lips from touching mine this time.

I groan into his mouth.

His arms twine around my waist and they pull me closer.

I lay a hand against his heart while the other I lay on the nape of his neck.

His kiss is soft and slow.

I wanted more.

I lick the seam of his lips and he takes the invitation.

His kiss becomes passionate and unrelenting, our mouths moving in sync hungrily over each other.

He walks me backward until my calves hit the edge of my cot.

“Wait.” I say against his mouth.

“What is it?”

“I just, I do not think I am ready for this.”

He cups my face.

“It is alright, I should have controlled myself.”

“No. I mean, I enjoyed the kisses I just…it’s-”

“I understand.” He gives me a soft kiss. “I believe it is time I left. I do not want my brother breaking down your door looking for me.”

“Alright.”

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know the name of the ex-nun whom Athelstan saves from being branded in public in Season 2 ep. 5 or is she even had a name so I named her Catherin. And I figured that she would still be Athelstan’s friend.


	5. Chapter 5

I hear the door open and I am half hoping that it’s Charles.

I had not had an opportunity to see him today and I was anxiously waiting to continue our kisses from last night.

King Ecbert enters the room and I hold back a disappointed sigh.

“Your friends have returned.” He says.

“My friends?”

My heart speeds up in my chest.

Could it be?

“A large flee of Northmen have come ashore in Wessex. One of the ships, I am told, was flying the black raven banner of Ragnar Lothbrok.”

I stare at him.

He comes closer, a calculating look in his eyes.

“What will you do?”

I try to act nonchalant but I know I still sounded too eager.

His blue eyes see right through me.

I hope he could not hear my rapidly beating heart.

“I hope I can negotiate with Ragnar. When we met before, he struck me as different. Intelligent.”

He looks at me, waiting for my input.

I nod.

“He will listen to reason.”

“Good.”

He moves behind me and I tense as his hand caresses my shoulders.

“But if not, I will fight him. No matter how much you and my brother protest to the contrary. I have already sent a message to king Aelle asking him to supply warriors according to our treaty. Whatever happens, I will not be defeated.”

I stare at him as he walks out.

I try to go back to my writing but my hands shakes too much and I watch as a drop of ink runs down the paper.

I set my quill down.

I rub my face with my hand.

The door opens again.

I ignore it this time.

“You do not look good.”

I look up at the sound of Charles’ voice.

I stand and walk around the writing table and towards him.

He puts his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.

I rest my head against his chest with a sigh.

“I waited until my brother left. What did he say to you?”

“Ragnar is back.” I whisper.

“I see.”

His arms tighten around me.

I feel comforted in his arms.

My hands touch his back.

“And what will he do?”

“He says he will speak with Ragnar.”

“Good.”

“But if Ragnar refuses to listen to reason, Ecbert will fight him. He has already sent word to king Aelle.”

“Do not worry. I will make sure your friend listens to reason.”

“How?” I ask looking up at him.

He leans down to kiss me.

“I will accompany Aethelwulf to send message to Ragnar that Ecbert is willing to speak with him.”

“Trully? Ecbert is allowing you to go?”

“Of course. He will trust no one else to look out for his son. Is there anything you wish me to convey to Ragnar?”

“Just tell him that I am well and to please try to come to an agreement with Ecbert.”

“Alright.”

He kisses my forehead before moving away.

“I will see you tonight.” He says walking towards the door.

“Be careful.”

He nods and smiles at me before walking out.

I close my eyes.

Please god let everything turn out alright.

I move back towards my writing table.

********************

I pace as I wait for Charles to come to my house.

I had tried sitting but I was too anxious to wait peacefully.

Finally there is a knock on my door.

I hurry to open it.

Charles enters before quickly closing the door behind himself.

“How did it go?”

He kisses my forehead before moving towards the pitcher of water.

“Not as good as we had hoped.”

“What happened?”

“There are others with Ragnar, a woman and a man who considers himself to be a king.” He says drinking from his cup.

“King Horik.”

“He is the man with whom you stayed behind.”

“Yes.”

“Well, he was very surprised when Ragnar announced you were still alive.”

“Were you able to speak with Ragnar?”

“I was. Very briefly. I told him you were alive and well. And that you wanted him to try and make a treaty with my brother.”

“What did he say?”

“He is glad you are well and waits to see you for himself.”

I smile.

“As we were leaving, we were ambushed. Well, they tried to ambush us anyways.”

“I do not think Ragnar would have done that.”

“Nor do I. It must have been this king Horik. Well, he won’t be any happier to be on our land this time either.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I killed a young boy, the one leading the raid. One of the men we captured said it was king Horik’s son.”

“Erlendur.” I say quietly.

“I would have preferred to kill them all but Aethelwulf was spooked so I sent the man back to his people with a warning.”

I close my eyes.

“Ragnar is not going to be happy with Horik.”

“I do not think there is much he can do about it. Not unless he kills Horik.”

He walks up and hugs me from behind.

“Do not worry Athelstan. Once Ragnar signs a treaty with my brother, I will get you back to your pagans.”

“And will you come with me?”

He moves away and I turn to look at him.

“I cannot. My brother would see it as a betrayal and I will not do that to him. He is all I have left.”

“Maybe if you spoke to him.”

He shakes his head.

“I am sorry Athelstan. But just as you cannot stay, I cannot leave.”

Tears well up in my eyes.

“Then I will stay.” I tell him.

He cups my face.

“You do not belong here locked away in a room day after day. You belong living a life you enjoy. You were happy in Kattegat, you have said so yourself.”

“But I have grown to love you Charles. I cannot leave knowing you will stay behind.”

“You must.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You will be very happy to know that I have acquired a new scroll and not just any scroll. One of Caesar himself.”

I look at Ecbert.

“Good.” I nod.

He frowns and comes closer.

“What is wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought you would be happy?”

“I am.”

“You do not seem it.”

I sigh and set down my quill.

“What will you do now?”

“I imagine you speak of the Northmen.”

“Yes.”

“We must do battle with Ragnar Lothbrok and his allies.”

“I cannot believe that Ragnar does not want to negotiate. I know him too well. He’s looking for land, farming land, for his people.”

He spreads out his arms and shrugs.

“His men killed all of my envoys, had it not been for Charles I do not think my son would have survived. In doing so they have sent me a very clear message.”

I take a deep breath.

“Why not send me to speak with him?”

He comes closer and places his hands on my shoulders.

“You are already too dear to me Athelstan, and too important. Which is why, I think, they would kill you.”

I open my mouth to deny the allegation but he turns and walks away.

“When? When will you attack?” I ask following after him.

He turns to look at me.

“As soon as king Aelle returns with his warriors. I’m sure you would prefer that Earl Ragnar and I made peace. But I do not know that that will be a wish you will receive. You will just have to make peace with it.”

*******************

“Please listen to my prayers. Help me Lord. Whatever happens, do not let Ragnar die.”

“Speaking to yourself again?”

I jump.

“Charles.” I gasp.

“What about me? Were you going to ask I also not die?”

“Of course.”

He smiles down at me.

His hand caresses the side of my face.

“I was worried when you did not arrive home at your usual hour.”

“I needed to keep working.”

“I see.”

I rest my head against his chest.

“I don’t know what to do.” I whisper.

He kisses my head.

I raise my head to look at him.

“Charles. Promise me you will be careful.”

“I will.”

“And please, please don’t kill Ragnar.”

“Would you rather I let him kill me?”

“He won’t.”

He turns away.

I touch his arm.

“He is my friend.”

“You still presume to know him after all this time?”

“Yes.”

He turns to look at me.

“I will try to speak with him. But I cannot promise you anything.”

“Thank you.”

He captures my mouth in a forceful kiss.

My back hits my writing table.

I groan.

He lifts me and presses me against it.

I clutch at his shoulders.

“You do not know how much I desire you.” He whispers fiercely against my neck.

“I desire you as well.”

“Then say I can have you. Say you will give yourself to me.”

I push at his chest and he moves back so that I can stand.

“Why not?”

“I can’t.”

“Athelstan.”

“I do want to but I can’t. Please understand.”

He nods and moves away.

“Charles.”

He stops at the door but does not turn to face me.

“Tomorrow I will ride into battle. I will pray that god grants me the opportunity to see your face again afterwards.”

He opens the door.

“Charles.”

The door closes behind him.

********************

“Please god, please hear my prayers. Please let them be alright. Please.” I whisper. I hold my rosary tighter in my hand. “Our father who art in heaven…” Sobs escape my throat. “Please god. Please.”

“Athelstan.”

I wipe my eyes before turning to look at the priest.

“King Ecbert has summoned us.”

“Where is he?”

“At the battlefield.”

I hurry behind the priest and towards the carriage that will take us to the battlefield.

My heart is my throat and I am not sure I am ready to face the aftermath.

Once we arrive I do not see Charles with Ecbert or with Aethelwulf.

Ecbert orders us to look for any survivors.

I walk, looking at all the dead bodies hoping I do not find Ragnar or Charles among the dead.

I hold on to the crucifix around my neck.

I turn to my left and I stop.

Rollo.

I see the soldier lift his spear to kill him.

“No! Wait! Stop!” I yell as I run over.

I fall to my knees beside Rollo.

“Athelstan.” Ecbert calls.

I turn to look at him.

“Who is it? Do you know this man?”

“I know this man.” Aelle says ridding up. “His name is Rollo. He’s Ragnar Lothbrok’s brother. We baptized him, but it made no difference.”

I place my hand over the wound Rollo has in his abdomen.

“It is unfortunate that he is dead.” Ecbert says.

I lean over Rollo.

I touch his hair.

He gasps in pain and I stare down at him.

“Rollo? He’s still alive!” I tell Ecbert.

Ecbert turns and calls the priest.

“It is alright Rollo, I am here. You are going to be fine.” I whisper.

He moves his head.

“Just lie still, contain your strength.”

The priest runs over with his medicine bag.

I move out of the way and kneel by Rollo’s head.

“He’s badly wounded there.” I tell the priest.

Rollo opens his eyes and looks up at me.

I lean closer.

“It’s alright Rollo. I am here.”

“Priest.” He croaks before passing out.


	7. Chapter 7

While the men celebrated their victory, I looked for Charles.

He was not in his chambers or in the tower.

I walk out of the palace and walk towards my house.

On the way I decide to stop to see how Rollo is fairing.

I enter the healing room where all the wounded are being kept.

When I find him, I hurry over.

I touch his arm.

“Rollo?” I say quietly.

He opens his eyes and I can tell he is in pain.

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me.

I grab a bucket of water and wash all the blood and dirt from around his wound.

He grabs my wrist.

“Priest?” He says.

“I’m here.” I say touching his arm.

“Look at you. Horik was right. You betrayed us.”

I stare at him dumbfounded.

He touches my face.

“If I had enough strength to kill you now, I would.”

He wraps his hand around my neck and I grab his wrist.

“Is that what he told you? That I betrayed him?”

“Is that not so?”

“No. He sent me hunting with some of his men and we were attacked. I ran and hid but they found me.” I show him my hands which still had the marks on them. “I was crucified.”

He removes his hand from around my neck.

“What do you mean?”

“You remember that story I told you about Jesus and how he died?”

“Yes.”

“That is what they do to apostates. People who were once Christians but are not anymore.”

“They put you on a cross?”

“Yes.”

He frowns and his breathing speeds up.

“That son of a whore!”

“Calm yourself Rollo. Do not hurt yourself any further.” I say pushing his shoulders back against the cot.

“Forgive me.”

I look down at him.

“I did not know. Ragnar kept saying you would never betray us, that Horik was lying. I should have believed.”

“It’s alright.”

“It is not. But I will make amends.”

I nod.

“Rest. I will be back later.”

He closes his eyes.

I move away.

“I am glad.”

I turn back to look at him.

He stares at me.

“I am glad that you survived.”

I smile and nod.

*******************

I enter my small home.

I stop at the doorway.

Charles is seated at the table and he looks back at me.

“There you are.” He says.

I hurry to his side.

I kneel in front of him.

His face is covered in blood.

He has a gash on his forehead but it had already stopped bleeding.

“Charles. Where have you been?”

I grab a rag and wipe his face.

His hand touches my wrist gently.

“I was waiting for you.”

“You should have gone to the healer or at least waited at the battle field.”

“I couldn’t stay there. My blood lust would have grown again.”

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No. I will be sore tomorrow but I have been drinking and I do not feel it so much.”

I sigh.

He takes a drink from a cup.

“Where have you been?” He asks.

“Rollo is here.”

He frowns and then hisses when it pulls on the wound.

I press the rag against the cut.

“Is he well?”

“I don’t know.”

“It was Aethelwulf.” He says. “I would have stopped him otherwise.”

“I know.”

He cups my face.

“I am glad that god listened to me.” He says quietly.

“As am I.”

I lean up and hug him.

He hugs me back just as fiercely.

His lips find mine and desire pools low in my belly.

I moan.

He stands and pulls me up with him.

His hands move down to my waist and onto my lower back.

“Charles.” I gasp.

He moves impossibly closer, his body flush against mine.

“All I thought of was you.” He says moving his lips down my neck. 

I gasp as his mouth licks and sucks on my neck.

His hands move lower to cup my backside.

I place my hands on his arms, not pushing just holding.

He moves his lips back to my mouth.

After a moment, he breaks the kiss and rest his forehead against mine.

“I would have killed them all for you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut.

“I will speak to my brother and convince him to send you to speak with your Northmen.”

“He will not allow it. I have already asked.”

“I am not going to suggest you go alone.”

I smile.

He kisses my forehead.

“I love you Athelstan.”

I look at him.

“And I love you.”

He kisses me, softly. Just the barest touch of lips before moving away.

“I need you to be prepared. I do not want you to be disappointed if they do not receive you with as much gusto as you are expecting.”

“I understand.”

“Good. I will go and speak with my brother.” He says moving away.

“Charles.”

He looks at me.

“I do love you.”

“I know.”

“And I mean what I said before. I would stay here with you.”

He nods.

His fingers caress my cheek.

“And I meant what I said. You do not belong here, wasting your life in that room with nothing but the scrolls to keep you company.”

“I would go back to the monastery with you.”

He smiles and shakes his head.

“The monastery is my sanctuary. It chases my demons away. If you were there all I would think about would be of fucking you.”

I shiver.

He kisses my cheek.

“No Athelstan. Your life in England ended the day your pagans raided Lindisfarne and I will do what I can to send you back home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do think Rollo might have an asphyxiation kink.


	8. Chapter 8

My heart thuds in my chest as the camp comes into view.

Charles shifts on his horse.

I glance at him.

His face is as stoic and hard as ever.

I look back towards the camp.

The warriors move towards the entrance of the camp as they catch sight of us.

I search for Ragnar but I do not see him.

Charles and I dismount and I smile when I recognize Bjorn among the men who have gathered.

He walks forward.

“Hello Bjorn. Do you remember me?”

“Of course I remember you. I wanted to kill you when I was a child.”

A small laugh escapes me.

“You became family and I loved you, my sister and I did.”

I look away as tears well in my eyes.

I swallow.

I look back at him.

“I know you were close to your uncle.” I look at the rest of the warriors. “I want you all to know that Rollo is alive, wounded but alive, and being taken care of.”

I catch Floki’s eyes and he glares back.

Charles moves closer to my side, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

I catch sight of Horik.

I frown and nod.

“King Horik.”

He doesn’t say anything.

But he did not seem happy.

“It is good to see you priest.” Lagertha says coming forward.

I smile at her.

“Why have you come?” She asks. “Have they set you free?”

I look at Charles.

He looks at me and nods.

I know he would let me stay.

I look away and then back at Lagertha.

“I came here to talk to you.” I tell her. 

“King Ecbert sent you.” Horik says. “You do his bidding. You are one of them.”

“He offers you a chance for peace. He wants to talk of many things with you.”

“Yes, and then kill us.” Horik says.

“That is not true. King Ecbert is a reasonable man. Otherwise he would have killed you when he had the chance instead of trying to make peace.” I tell him.

Horik snort.

He comes closer.

“You are his dog. You lick his fingers. You lick his arsehole.”

Charles draws his sword and presses against Horik’s neck in an instant.

“Charles!”

“I will gladly end your life right now, the way I ended your son’s.” Charles spits.

I touch his arm.

I look around but not many men are moving to defend Horik.

Floki does.

“And then I will kill you.” Floki tells Charles. 

Charles snorts.

“I could have ended your life in battle. I was right next to you and you didn’t even notice.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“Because you matter to Athelstan, he considers you his friend. I do not know why.”

Floki looks at me.

“Charles.” I say again.

“Do not speak in such a way to Athelstan again or I will not restrain myself again.”

Charles shoves Horik away.

“Is King Ecbert prepared to offer us a hostage?” Lagertha asks.

“Yes. He wants to reassure you in any way he can of his honest intentions.”

“Then we will meet him.” She says.

I sigh with relief.

“Who are you to say?” Horik asks her.

“You do not need to come, Ragnar and I will go.” She answers.

I smile.

“I will give him your answer.” I tell them.

I turn and Charles follows me back to our horses.

“I will accompany you part of the way.”

I turn at the sound of Ragnar’s voice.

I look back at Bjorn and Lagertha before walking away.

I turn my head to stare at Ragnar as we walk and he stares back.

Charles follows behind us, mounted on his horse.

I can feel his eyes on my back.

Ragnar puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close.

“It is good to see you. I feared that you were dead.”

“Rollo told me what Horik said.”

He nods.

“Do not worry about Horik.”

I smile at him.

“It is really good to see you Ragnar.”

He pats my chest.

“So have you returned to your faith, renounced ours?”

I stare up at him.

“I wish it were so simple.”

“I hope that someday our gods can become friends.”

A laugh escapes my throat.

He stops walking.

“I have something to return to you.”

He places my arm ring back on my wrist.

I stare down at it before looking at him.

He raises my hand up to his face and he kisses the inside of my wrist.

My breath catches in my throat.

Charles’ horse snorts.

I look at Charles.

His dark eyes bore into me, his face like thunder.

I swallow and look at Ragnar.

Ragnar looks at Charles.

“You are safe to go now.” He says.

Charles nods.

“I apologize for hitting you in the eye.” He tells Ragnar.

I stare at Charles openmouthed.

Ragnar smiles.

“You were getting too close and I had promised Athelstan I would not kill you.”

“And now?” Ragnar asks.

“Now it is difficult to say.” Charles tells him.

Ragnar laughs before looking at me again.

He places his hands on my shoulders.

“I will see you very soon.”

“Thank you my friend.”

He smiles before helping me get on my horse.

Charles rides next to me.

I look at him.

“Charles.”

He glares at me.

“Are you alright?” I ask softly.

He snorts.

“You still stand by your claim that he is still just your friend?”

“Yes.”

“I do not believe you.”

“Why would I lie to you about my relationship with Ragnar?”

“Perhaps because you were afraid.”

I touch his arm.

“I love you Charles and I swear that Ragnar and I have only ever been friends.”

“Judging from the way he looked at you, he wants to be very good friends.”

I frown.

“Charles.”

He rides a bit ahead.

I sigh.

The rest of the way is spent in uncomfortable silence.

*******************

I smile at Ragnar, Lagertha and Bjorn as they walk into the great hall.

Horik looks uncomfortable.

“You are all welcome.” Ecbert tells them. “Please sit down.” He says inviting them up.

Ecbert places his arm around me and leads me towards the table.

He pulls out my chair and I sit.

He sits down next to me and places his hand on my forearm.

I look at Ragnar and he stares back.

I clear my throat.

Charles was not in attendance.

This was a treaty between the king and the Northmen and Ecbert did not want his brother interrupting the meeting.

Bishop Edmund was also not in attendance.

Ecbert motions for me to speak and I stand.

“King Ecbert desires me to set before you possible terms of a treaty. He is completely sincere in his wish for peace and cooperation and believes that Ragnar Lothbrok shares his wish. The king will agree to pay you monies and/or treasure to prevent any further depredations on his territories. More importantly, he is prepared to offer 5000 acres of good land, for farming, in peace. Finally, King Ecbert is willing to pay any of your warriors a fat fee for fighting for him in time of war.”

“What about my brother?” Ragnar asks.

I look at Ecbert.

He nods at me.

“The king will agree to release Rollo upon your acceptance of his offer and upon the safe return of king Aelle.” I tell him.

“I accept the offer.” Ragnar says.

“As do I.” Lagertha says.

Horik does not look happy but he has no other choice.

He has been outnumbered.

“I accept.” Horik finally says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things: why did they make Athelstan ride on a donkey when everyone else was on horses? Is it because of the whole priest/Jesus thing? And two: I really thought Ragnar was going to kiss Athelstan’s hand in the episode. It really looked like it from the way he was holding his hand.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a bit angsty but it will get better. Also, sex. Nothing too explicit though.

“Ecbert is sending me back to the camp, to see to the safe return of Rollo and Aelle.”

Charles doesn’t not look at me.

Things were still tense between us.

“Charles? Will you come with me?”

“No.”

I open my mouth.

“If you are to escape, now would be the time.”

“But-”

“You know Ragnar wants you to go back with him and you want to go as well. You will not have another opportunity.”

“Charles.”

“I promised I would see that you went home.”

I walk up behind him.

“Charles.”

He finally turns to look at me.

His hand caresses the side of my face.

“I have no words to say how much I will miss you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut.

“I want to stay with you.” I tell him.

“This is not your home Athelstan.”

“It could be. We could make it our home.”

His smile is sad.

“In your heart Kattegat will always be your home and I do not want you to look back on your life and wish that you had gone with your Northmen when you had the chance.”

“I would never.”

“Yes you would.”

My breath hitches as tears escape my eyes.

“Come with me.”

“No.” He whispers.

I hug him.

“I love you.” I say against this chest.

His hand touches the back of my neck.

“I know.”

I step away from him.

I touch my crucifix and take it off.

Then I remove the ring Ecbert gave me.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“I am not a priest, I am not fully Christian. So I am removing the lies.”

I remove the band from my hair and strip down until I stand naked before him.

I resist the urge to cover myself with my hands.

He stares at me.

“I could not be with you because I wanted to believe that I could find god again. But you are right, I do not belong here. So I want to spend this night with you doing what pagans enjoy doing more than raiding.”

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me hungrily.

I twine my arms around his neck and surrender myself to the heat and the passion.

He nips and sucks down my neck and when he backs me up towards his bed, I go willingly.

I lie back and watch as he strips his clothes.

His body has a few scars.

A very angry looking one adorns his shoulder and creeps down to his chest over his heart.

He climbs over me and I touch the raised scar with my finger.

He takes my hand and kisses my fingers.

“You are very beautiful.” He says before leaning down to kiss me.

My hands caress down his back.

His knee nudges my thighs open.

I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate on his kisses.

His hand caresses down my chest, his fingers play with my nipple before moving lower.

I suck in a breath.

His hand moves lower and I tense.

He stares down at me.

“Athelstan.”

“I really want to.”

“I know. But wanting to doesn’t mean that you are ready.”

“Just keep going, I will get used to it.”

He kisses my forehead before moving his face down to my chest.

His tongue licks my nipple and I groan.

It felt…good.

More than good.

I grip his shoulders.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes.” I gasp.

He moves to the other nipple.

Lighting shoots down my spine and gathers on my lower back and moves towards my belly.

I moan.

His hands part my thighs as his mouth moves down my stomach.

His lips caress the inside of my tights and I can’t catch my breath.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes!”

His lips close over the head of my cock.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

My hands grip his hair.

His lips leave me and I resist the urge to tug his head back.

He chuckles.

His mouth moves lower to tease my scrotum.

White light explodes behind my eyes and my body tenses like a bow.

A sob escapes my throat.

“Easy. It’s okay.”

His mouth cleans the hot sticky residue from my skin before moving back over me.

He takes himself in his hand and brings himself to completion against me.

I watch his face as he climaxes.

He leans his head and kisses me.

“How do you feel?”

I squirm under him.

“Like I want to try that again.”

“Good because there are a lot of things I want to do with you.”

********************

I smile as I think of Charles.

I shiver.

A groan from Rollo snaps me back to reality.

I look behind me to make sure he is okay.

“Rollo?”

“I’m alright priest. I’ve had worse.”

I snort.

The camp comes into view.

Warriors come towards us.

“We’ve arrived.” I tell Rollo.

I watch as Torstein leads king Aelle towards us.

He does not look happy.

Floki hurries to check the chests full of gold coins.

“It’s all here.” He announces.

The wagon is taken into the camp.

“Those of you who will stay behind to prepare the land or act as mercenaries for king Ecbert, come forward now!” I call.

Many men come forward.

I look at Ragnar as he comes up to me.

“I am taking my brother home. Will you come back with us or will you stay here with…your people?”

I look to make sure Aethelwulf is out of earshot.

“I want you to come back.” He says gripping my knee. 

I look at Lagertha and Bjorn.

I give him a small nod.

He smiles and gestures for Bjorn to come over.

Bjorn hands me a bundle.

I stare down at it.

“It is something for you to wear.” Ragnar tells me.

I nod and put the bundle under the folds of my robes.

“We will wait for you. We will set sail before sunrise.” Ragnar tells me.

“I will be here.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned into the longest ‘Viking’ story I have written (so far) when it was only supposed to be a few chapters. Anyways, this is the last one. Thank you for reading.

I look at my brother as he comes in.

I close my fingers over the crucifix Athelstan left behind.

“I wish to go back to the monastery.”

I sigh.

“Why?”

He frowns.

“I have done what you summoned me to do.”

“Your part is not over.”

“I do not care. I am going back.”

He turns, his back tense and start to walk away.

“I have not dismissed you.”

He stops and turns to face me, his face twisted in anger.

“What more do you want from me?”

I stand and walk down the steps to stand in front of my brother.

His dark angry eyes stare back at me.

“I want you to go to Kattegat.”

His eyes widen in surprise.

“What?”

I nod.

“I need you to be a mercenary. I need you to keep an eye on things and prepare the families of the Northmen who stayed behind for their journey here.”

“Why are you sending me?”

“Aethelwulf should he here for the birth of his first child.”

He nods.

“I will go.”

“Good.” I hand him the crucifix. “Give this to Athelstan.”

He stares at me.

“I am not stupid brother. I know you love him and that he returned the sentiment. Take care of him. Of all the treasures that have been taken from me, he is the most precious and the one that I valued most. I just always thought Ragnar would be the one to steal him.” I say putting a hand on his shoulder.

His hand closes around the crucifix.

“Forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive. I love him and all I want is for him to be happy.”

“Do not worry brother. I will protect and love Athelstan for as long as I live.”

I hug him.

“Go then. Take a group of soldiers with you as a sign of peace and trust. Tell Earl Ragnar that they will follow his command while they are on his land. Make sure the men understand this.”

“Thank you my Lord.”

He turns and hurries away.

I stare after him wishing it was me who was going back to Athelstan.

“My Lord.”

“Call in the next person who wishes to have council with me.”

*****************

I stare out at the river.

A hand lands on my shoulder and it startles me.

Ragnar smiles at me.

I smile back.

“Athelstan. How are you?”

I shrug and look back out towards the water.

He stands next to me.

“You are not happy here.”

I look at him.

“I am happy Ragnar. I am home.”

“And yet.” He shrugs.

I sigh.

“Do you miss England?”

I shake my head.

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

Charles.

I don’t answer.

“I have seen you praying to your god. Will you teach me one of your prayers so that I can learn?”

I kneel and he follows suit.

I teach him the Lord’s Prayer and even though he seems a bit reluctant at the end, he finishes it with me.

I smile as he hastily stands back up.

********************

I feel my nerves failing me.

I take a deep breath and I steel myself.

“And deliver us from evil, amen.”

I attack the men who pass by me.

My training and my instinct kick in as I fight.

I hurry to the great hall.

“Horik has fled!” Floki says.

Ragnar looks beyond enraged.

The hall doors bang open and Charles walks in dragging Horik behind him.

I gasp.

His soldiers walk in behind him.

He throws Horik down at Ragnar’s feet.

“Earl Ragnar, my brother sends his greetings.”

Ragnar smiles at him and nods.

“My soldiers and I killed off the men who ran and we captured this man. I figured you would want to deal with him yourself.”

“You guessed correctly.”

Charles looks at me.

I swallow and stop myself from flinging myself in his arms.

******************

After Horik and his men have been taken care of and Charles and his men have been fed, I walk to my room.

I prepare for bed, my shaking hands making the process longer.

I clench my hands together.

I stare at the door before walking towards my bed.

I am pulling back the covers when there is a knock on my door.

I hurry over and open the door.

Charles walks in.

I fling my arms around his neck and press my lips against his.

“You came, you came.” I say between kisses.

His hands press me close.

He kicks the door shut and walks me back towards my bed.

I moan as his hands lift my nightgown.

I pull it over my head and fling it aside.

“I need to see you.” I tell him as I tug at the laces of his breeches.

“So did you miss me?”

I look at him and he laughs.

He cups my face and kisses me.

“I am so happy that you are here.”

“As am I. I love you my little pagan priest.”

“I love you my monk warrior.”

He kisses my head.

“Now I believe we were about to have sex?”

I push him onto the bed.

“Oh. I see you have been training.”

“Shut up and take off your clothes.”

He leans up and takes my lips in a searing kiss.

I touch his face and his shoulders.

He was really here and I would have time to show him how much I loved him.

How much I yearned for him.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, warning! SPOILER ALERT (As if my story hasn’t already spoiled enough. Maybe I should have posted this at the top?)! So glad Horik is finally dead. And I’m glad Floki and Siggy didn’t betray Ragnar. I did doubt Floki for a moment but I still had hope. And we have to wait until 2015 for Season 3. 2015!!!


End file.
